My thoughts while practicing and during a performance are very different. In practice I have to be my toughest judge, a perfectionist to the very last note, technically as well as musically, but in performance I have to force myself to forget all about technique, all about preconceived ideas, nothing but to focus on the music, being creative and expressive every single moment, to dare taking all possible risks while imagening abstract stories or feelings I want to translate into the music, images or colours I want to transport through the cello to the audience. In my practice room I always have a blank paper next to me because I tend to have the best ideas while practicing. Ideas about children education, how to deal better with women, what to buy in the grocery store, which program to play with which pianist, what to record, whom to contact etc.. It just seems as if practicing equals brainstorming, while performing comes closer to a dream.